105 | Bloodline 🔴
"I was poor white trash, no glitter, no glamour, but I'm not ashamed of anything."
—Eminem
> how to hug a man | drunk again
I feel less likely today to reach for a drink or five and fade into relapse.
To make it to 30 days, then 60 days, then 90 days without a drink, I had to internalize that much of who we are occurs naturally and genetically and is not a moral consequence of some kind.
- I'm an alcoholic for life whether I drink again or not.
Scientists say as much as 60 percent of alcohol-use disorder is attributable to genetics. Our addictions are then amplified by social, psychological, and environmental factors and alcohol misuse and abuse. 🩸🧬
- For alcoholics in recovery, our clean time is always at risk.
"Your addiction is in the parking lot doing pushups," we say in Alcoholics Anonymous.
It follows you home from the meeting and is there awkwardly making hard eye contact when you wake up.
By the end of my first week of meetings, I was open to the very real possibility that I'd be going to AA for the rest of my life.
My alcoholism had grown so bad, going to more than one meeting in one day didn't seem weird at all.
Attending 120 meetings in 90 days didn't seem weird, either.
- next time Chapter end
- listening Ozzy Osbourne "Bark at the Moon"
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