Hurry sickness 🕔
"There is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather."
—Forbes.com
> the persuaders | suspicious
Our mouths tell one story. Our behaviors tell another.
A highly suspicious number of people who come into the local Tulsa coffee shops where I’ve worked claim to never go to Starbucks or use plastic coffee pods at home.
- The problem is that Starbucks is a $36 billion company. Someone's buying.
- Starbucks spends over half-a-billion dollars each year on marketing and advertising. It has 38,000 stores worldwide.
Keurig Dr Pepper, a major producer of home coffee pods, earned $15 billion in 2023, meanwhile.
Like I said, someone’s buying. We're a nation in perpetual hurry. Starbucks is ruthlessly convenient in a country where consumers are slowly dying from hurry sickness (a real thing).
Our need to impress and avoid even mild embarrassment by denying a lurid affair with Starbucks is greater than our need to confess the truth.
Sure, Americans and Tulsans like good coffee from local businesses. But Tulsa doesn’t have a reputation for celebrating local businesses the way other cities do.
Here in the great state of Oklahoma, we don’t like feeling overly fussy about anything we buy unless we're buying a truck or above-ground pool.
Walmart and Buffalo Wild Wings and Starbucks are good enough for us. Jesus is our wellness.
Besides, there’s a game on later.
Hon, just hurry and grab something.
We don't have time for that local place that takes forever.
- next time "I sometimes drink Keurig pods."
- listening American Football "Silhouettes"
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