Confession ⛪
"I'm not a saint yet. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm homosexual. I'm a genius."
—Truman Capote
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After getting out of jail in Tulsa from my second DUI, I had set out to attend 90 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in 90 days. I ended up attending as many as three per day on every side of Tulsa.
- Also motivating me to stay clean was the chunky monitor on my ankle that notified a judge if I drank before my next DUI hearing in court. ⚖️ 🏛️
I felt safer in an AA meeting or the parking lot of one. I felt safest in a meeting at a church, despite a lifetime of godlessness.
My brother and I had grown up in Tulsa attending AA meetings with our biological mom. I tried to go on my own a few times in Austin. But I always stopped after a few meetings.
My psychiatrist eventually put me on a medication that made people sick if they drank on it.
After beginning to take it, I eventually caved and became wrenchingly ill from just one cocktail.
I was on a first date and fled. We never talked again.
I'd already acknowledged to myself years before that I seemed to have a bit of a problem with alcohol. I joked about it.
Everyone in Austin jokes about their friendly, everyday drinking problem.
But I was careful not to say the word alcoholic to myself.
Drinking heavily was just a thing writers and rockers did, I told myself. Drinking was our custom and tradition and history.
- next time "Your addiction is in the parking lot doing pushups."
- listening Wipers "Over the Edge"
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