Each chapter from God Don't Make No Trash is made up of small stories. See The Undoing as a complete chapter below. You can also check out this project's introduction or visit the stories page.

Late is not lazy ⏰

"There’s nothing wrong with being fired." 

—CNN founder Ted Turner

> late to the resistance | feelings aren't facts

At a coffee shop where I worked in Tulsa, an internal conversation took place about those of us who kept showing up late to their shifts.

I was a top offender.

When the owner asked for our input, I blamed reality as we "see" it.

Science, psychology, and perception help explain why roughly one in five Americans is regularly late for work.

It's not laziness or disrespect. Those are constructs interpreted by each of us subjectively and individually, not objectively. There’s no way to meaningfully measure them, in other words.

I've since moved on to another coffee shop. But the debate on lateness stayed with me.

It remains the Western custom to punish or even terminate workers for being late by a few minutes.

Why? 

How much money was spent training those terminated workers? What are the hidden costs of needing to feel tough and decisive?

It's not just bosses who scold us for lateness. 

Timely co-workers glow with self-satisfaction. They glow even when there's no evidence minor lateness is affecting operations: 

"Well, I guess I'm just the kind of person who gets to work on time."

So what? Timeliness alone doesn't tell us whether you're a valuable worker. 

Zealously enforcing timeliness might give one feelings of control, discipline, and respect. 

But while feelings are valid, feelings aren't facts.

The owner of the coffee shop over Slack acknowledged it was an error to assume that on-time workers were the most valuable workers.

That came after I made an appeal to reason: 

"There’s not a clear, scientific correlation between minor lateness and work ethic and productivity. It’s a cultural custom we react to emotionally. Amazon doesn’t punish for minor lateness."

Neither does the QuikTrip Corporation, Oklahoma’s beloved chain of convenience stores. 

• next time "A swollen fallacy became visible almost immediately."
• listening Iggy and the Stooges "No Fun"

Workaholics 👨🏻‍💻

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." 

—Shakespeare (Hamlet)

> late to the resistance | vilified

A swollen fallacy became visible during a debate we had about tardiness at a Tulsa coffee shop where I worked in sobriety from alcohol. 

Americans often view themselves as having an unrivaled work ethic. 

But we can't tell you why it's so important for us to prove to strangers that we have an unrivaled work ethic.  

Many of us hold the decidedly unscientific view that someone who is late by a few minutes is also lazy and has a poor work ethic. 

Although "work ethic" sounds vaguely scientific, it's just another way of saying lazy. And laziness is individually perceived and interpreted through our feelings and emotions, unlike productivity, which is measurable.

That means each of the 8.3 billion people worldwide has subjective, individual interpretations of laziness as they "see" it. 

In America, we attack you for not overworking like the rest of us. We assume everyone else perceives laziness and work ethic the same way we do. 

Time, meanwhile, is a measurement conceived by humans. Timeliness itself is not a metric for work ethic or laziness or productivity.

Should so many of us, then, be so vilified by the rule-followers for not always conforming to America’s terminally irrational workaholism?

Why is it important for us to impress total strangers with the number of sick hours we've never used?

No one ever said before their final breath that they didn't overwork enough.

• next time "We'll stridently defend the status quo."
• listening Baroness "March to the Sea"

Showing up 🍸 

"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others."  

—Fyodor Dostoevsky

> late to the resistance | violent hangover

All too often, we’ll stridently defend the status quo without ever fully knowing whether it’s harming or helping us to do so.

It’s just what we’ve always done, we say again and again.

If you're late for work, you're not committed to the job. 

If I can show up on time, you can show up on time.

If you don't give more hours, you're not making a sacrifice.

But are workers who automatically conform to unscientific customs in the workplace really better workers?

We're similarly irrational when complaining that entire, incoming generations are terminally lazy.

Over 70 million people in America today are 18 or younger. That’s a lot of lazy.

If all incoming generations are lazy, wouldn't we all eventually become lazy?

Can there be such a thing as The Laziest Person in the World? The Laziest Generation in History?

No. Laziness is subjective and individually interpreted. We lazily "see" it with our feelings and emotions. We don't measure it by an objective global standard.

I’ve arrived on time to work many times in my life.

But I did so many times with a crushing hangover.

Sometimes I just showed up drunk with whiskey in my bag. 

At least I was on time, right?

Timeliness and tardiness don’t share an obvious correlation with laziness. 

There are 8.3 billion interpretations worldwide of "lazy." Its true meaning can’t be universally understood by the word alone. 

The same is true of a person in sobriety from alcohol. Who decides if they're "a better person" as a result of sobriety? 

My mom would say I’m a better person. 

But she’d just as likely say I should be "using your Master’s degree more."

• next time Tardiness did not derail the War on Terror.
• listening Wire "Ex Lion Tamer"

On its own time 🕹️

"No matter how much we've accomplished or how hard we've worked, we never believe we've done enough." 

  —Social psychologist Devon Price

> late to the resistance | predator

Our discourse over Slack on being late to shifts continued at a Tulsa coffee shop where I worked while getting sober from alcohol.

Confronting my alcoholism did nothing for my long history of showing up late to everything.

On Slack, I pointed out that the Italians were late to everything by custom. Italy has existed for far longer than the United States.

Maybe they know something we don't, I argued. 

Years ago while covering security issues as a journalist, I read a book by an American pilot named Matt Martin who flew drones for the U.S. Air Force during the War on Terror. ✈️

His crew at one time was partnered with a team of Italian pilots. The Americans bristled at the persistent lateness of the Italians. Wrote Martin:

>> "Sure, I could have grown accustomed to the laid-back Italian attitude. But I had to keep reminding myself that time was running out if we hoped to have Predator in the air."

In the minds of the Americans, as Martin himself shows, the tardiness of the Italians was not just disrespectful but threatened to derail the entire multi-trillion dollar War on Terror. 

That obviously never happened. 

"Everything is to be on its own time," one Italian colonel put it to Martin.

A civilian contractor chimed in: "I've worked with the Italians. They'll get it done in its own time."

In its own time. 

Italians know how to savor the espresso. Americans order a shot of espresso to go. 

No one ever said before their final breath that they should have been more punctual.

• next time "It only works if everyone is late."
• listening Chelsea Wolfe "Flatlands"

Tradition-bound 😇

"A boss says 'Go!' A leader says 'Let's go!'" 

—Author E.M. Kelly

> late to the resistance | slack

At a Tulsa coffee shop where I worked, our discourse over Slack on tardiness pushed ahead. 

We were debating what to do with people like me who chronically showed up late. 

How about nothing?

The owner of the shop seemed to want more than nothing.

I had been arguing that there were no scientific correlations between laziness, productivity, and minor lateness, even though our minds might want to assume it.

Not everyone shared my views.  

No matter how logical my argument, it remains customary in the United States to treat minor lateness as a grave offense. 

Yet the Italians are late to everything. It doesn't bring the country to a grinding halt. Nor does it keep Italy from making great coffee.

Italy was the inspiration for our shop’s approach to coffee. 

I knew my argument was unfamiliar but rooted in reason.

Having traveled the world, however, the shop's owner fired back with just seven words that critically wounded my position: 

"It only works if everyone is late."

 Ouch. His argument was rooted in reason, too. 

While it could be argued that my position was scientifically defensible, it wasn’t necessarily practical.

Rather than gloat, however, the shop's owner surprised us by attacking his own position for amusement:

>> "On the other hand, our concept of time and punctuality is extremely recent. Clocks didn't even exist in the Americas until Europeans arrived. Time was measured more on the rotation of the earth, the movement of the moon, and sighting of stars. I've thought about how our measuring of time doesn't even make sense."

If our basis for measuring time was flawed, he added, "might it be possible that I was actually early and you only thought I was late?"

• next time "The Italians are late to everything."
• listening The Meters "Cissy Strut"

Penny schools 📔✏️

"In Seattle, you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running."

—Jeff Bezos

> late to the resistance | revolution

Coffeehouses have a centuries-long tradition of hosting formal and informal debate and discourse. 

Places to gather for coffee helped fuel the French Revolution and the American Revolution and U.S. soldiers in Italy fighting fascism during World War II. 

Intellectual inquiry and at least a begrudging willingness to question one’s own perspectives are hallmarks of coffeehouses worldwide. The owner of a Tulsa coffee shop where I worked embraced this tradition.  

He's bookish and wrote his own book about selling good coffee in a flyover state. He doesn't eagerly conform to Tulsa's stuffy, conservative impulses and establishment. 

But during a Slack debate over showing up late to work (that’s me), the owner had a stern reminder. He was enough of a traditionalist that it didn’t trouble him to terminate someone in order to maintain discipline over tardiness. 

I was arguing that a few minutes of lateness just didn't hurt anything or anyone.

Tardiness policies are an unchallenged custom built on generational and arbitrary truthinesses that we react to irrationally and emotionally, not rationally.

Then I argued that Italians were late to everything. It didn't bring the country to its knees, I said. Terminating people over minor lateness is an emotional reaction to a cultural custom and human construct.

That’s when the owner dropped a highly logical counterargument to my position that sent glass spraying in every direction. 

"It only works if everyone is late."

• next time "We’re often wrong but never in doubt."
• listening Duster "Constellations"

Never in doubt ✅

"I'm allergic to alcohol. When I drink it I break out in handcuffs."

—Alcoholics Anonymous

> late to the resistance | truthiness

When facts are scarce for human beings, we fill the information gaps with truthinesses and media effects and subjective family values and social norms.

We assume our truths as we "see" them are everyone else's truths, too. 

We’re often wrong but never in doubt.

We automatically (meaning unconsciously) jump to conclusions with the thinnest of evidence.

Wild assumptions and generalizations strike us like lightning, and we treat them in response like certainties.

We do so not to reveal the truth to ourselves or even make ourselves happier. We do this so we can act fast to survive as we make decisions each day. 

So you'd be forgiven if you (automatically) assumed, as many people do, that alcoholism and tardiness naturally correlate with laziness. 

The truth is that like alcoholism and everything else, there's a psychology and science to lateness.

Chronically late people like me "see" or perceive time differently than others. We assume tasks will take less time than they really do. We may even be trying to avoid painful anxiety-inducing social interactions.

A 2001 study showed that people who were creative and reflective perceived time as moving slower than people who were competitive and ambitious.

These are things about us that are difficult to control. I wasn’t merely a drunk. I relied on alcohol to relieve profound anxieties and insecurities. The area of my mind that controls my lateness and alcoholism is itself difficult to control. 

Alcohol soothed me long enough to socialize at a metal show or happy hour.

Alcohol soothed me long enough to "feel like myself" on a date.

Alcohol soothed me long enough to speak on conference panels.

I was functional and good at hiding the severity of my alcoholism.

Until I wasn't.

I’d lost control.

• next time "We don't use our powerful reasoning abilities."
• listening Amon Amarth "Cry of the Black Birds"

Absolute 💡🧠

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

—Gandalf, "Lord of the Rings"

> late to the resistance | power move

Cognitive errors and lapses in judgment occur every minute of every day in every human mind worldwide. 

They are an important explanation for behaviors that aren’t easily understood by the conscious, analytical area of our minds. 

Much of the time, we don’t use our powerful reasoning abilities to consciously pause.

We don’t investigate for biases, baseless associations and assumptions, and lapses in logic. 

We reach irrational conclusions without evidence and then interpret our conclusions as the absolute truth.

"Jumping to conclusions is a safer sport in the world of our imagination than it is in reality," behavioral scientist Daniel Kahneman wrote in his bestselling 2011 book, "Thinking, Fast and Slow."

During our lateness debate over Slack at a Tulsa coffee shop where I worked, some people were taking traditionalist positions. 

>> "If I can get here on time, you can get here on time." 

>> "If I can read a clock, you can read a clock."

I countered with an unconventional argument. We have a pronounced tendency in America to assume a correlation between minor lateness and laziness and poor work performance. 

The human mind endlessly sees such relationships and associations where scientists can’t prove they exist. 

I wrote on Slack how powerful cognitive biases and errors and mental misfires short-circuit and undermine our decision-making abilities by leading us to "see" things that aren’t there.

>> "They cloud our judgment and impair our ability to ‘see’ objectively, because we’re focused on truthinesses that feel like the truth but are just stuff we were raised to believe."

• next time "For all we know, that's all you know."
• listening Oblivians "Christina"

Respect 😠

"At SpaceX, we specialize in converting things from impossible to late."

—Elon Musk

> late to the resistance | scrappy

This may be a shock.

But just because we're late to work doesn't mean we're lazy. 

Are you a more valuable employee than me just because you "know how to show up on time?" 

For all we know, that's all you know.

Being late to everything can’t correlate with laziness, and the reason is simple. 

Lateness is measured by time.

Laziness is measured by subjective opinion and our distorted interpretations of reality.

Amazon, which has been called "the smartest company on "earth," doesn't measure laziness or rigidly punish for minor lateness.

Instead, it focuses on productivity, not on its feelings and emotions. 

Oklahoma's beloved QuikTrip Corporation also doesn't aggressively punish minor tardiness.

But the owner of a coffee shop where I worked in Tulsa had long enforced a policy that punished lateness. He told us over Slack that there were serial offenders in our midst. 

I was one of them.

He invited us to discuss what he should do. But he wanted us to know something first. 

It didn't make him uncomfortable to terminate people. He actually called himself "scrappy."

>> "Hell, I threw the health inspector out one time in front of a LONG line of people waiting for me to make their drinks. I'm not afraid to fire anyone. In fact, I used to offer my firing services to other business owners I knew who didn't like firing people."

Disrespect was intolerable, he wrote.

Men are dumb, I thought.

• next time Laziness is individually perceived.
• listening Coco Jones "Fallin"

The purist ☕🧋

> late to the resistance | coffee nazi

At a coffee shop where I worked in my hometown of Tulsa while getting sober from alcohol, our approach to espresso and coffee was inspired by Italian tradition. 

The owner calls himself a coffee purist. Critics call him the Coffee Nazi. 

People outside of Tulsa have great difficulty believing that America's top competing barista in 2023 learned how to do espresso in our shop. 

On our internal Slack channel, we had a timeless coffeehouse debate about the people like me who were always showing up late.

What should be done about us?

I said nothing should be done unless someone could prove that minor lateness negatively impacted the business.

Prioritizing minor lateness meant we were prioritizing our feelings and emotions over other challenges. 

We have a timeless tendency in the United States to wrongly assume a direct relationship between punctuality and performance. 

Laziness is individually perceived, not globally measured. 

Time, meanwhile, is a human construct. The universe doesn’t care if I’m late.

Amazon, which is often called "the smartest company on earth,” doesn't punish workers for minor lateness. Neither does Oklahoma's celebrated QuikTrip Corporation.

The perception that laziness and punctuality are obviously related is an illusion. 

Therefore, terminating for minor lateness means indulging our feelings and emotions while believing that our workers are in awe of our firmness and decisiveness.

Feelings are valid.

But feelings aren't facts.

• next time "President Barack Obama was known for being late while in the White House."
• listening Mineral "Parking Lot"

Overtime 👩🏻‍💻👨🏻‍💻

“I put my heart and my soul into my work and have lost my mind in the process.”

—Vincent van Gogh

> late to the resistance | clocked

We can measure educational achievement. 

We can measure the economic impact of small businesses. 

We can measure worker productivity at Amazon warehouses.

But science can't prove an obvious relationship between showing up late to work and showing up lazy to work. 

That’s because there is no meaningful correlation between laziness and tardiness. 

Civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr. was famously late to everything. President Barack Obama was routinely late while in the White House.

We're not just obsessed with proving ourselves by how well we can read a clock in America. 

We’re obsessed with humble-bragging about our overtime hours worked.

According to The Atlantic, America's tradition of overworking to impress others hurts more than it helps productivity:

>> "We mistakenly believe that more hours will always increase output while ignoring the clear evidence: The secret to being an effective worker is not working too hard."

Americans will brag on Facebook about being the most present of parents, the best of dads, the greatest of moms. 

Then they'll brag a few hours later about being exhausted from working 80 hours a week. 

How is there time for both?

• next time Chapter end
• listening Animals as Leaders "Cafo"

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